10-13-2006, 02:18 AM
Quote:THIRTEEN OAKS, WISCONSIN- Residents of this sleepy lakeside town are shaking their heads in shock and despair on this Friday as the recent wave of youth-directed violence descends in their own backyard. According to initial reports, as many as six teenagers have died horribly in the past 24 hours in and around a disused recreational facility known as Camp Crystal Lake. At this moment there is no way of knowing how many other teens might still be in there fighting for their lives.This sounds serious, who is going to protect the children?
Law enforcement officials have cordoned off the perimeter, but due to the rough terrain and lack of visibility they cannot get any closer to the lakeside cabins where the imperiled teens are believed to be. A swarm of news and police helicopters have appeared in the skies over the camp, scouring the landscape for signs of life. As it is, they can only stand back at a distance and passively listen for the sounds of screaming.
\"Our primary concern at this point is getting the remaining teenagers out alive,\" said Officer David Dorf. \"If any of you can hear me in there, please listen carefully. Do not wander off alone. Do not have sex with one another. Do not go down by the lake searching for clues about the murderer\'s troubled past. I know that these recommendations may not make sense right now, but believe me, you\'ll thank me later.\"
Since there is still such a paucity of solid facts regarding the incident, cable news outlets are doing their level best to fulfil their civic responsibilities by broadcasting as much wild speculation as they possibly can. Descriptions of the suspect have been all over the map, anything from \"a large man wearing coveralls\" to \"a six-foot-tall jumpsuit-clad male.\"
The motive for the crimes is another mystery. It could be revenge for some unknown or imagined slight, displaced sexual aggression, or just good old-fashioned terrorism. Some are even saying that the killings all have some sort of calendrical connection, though it is still unclear what that link might be.
One thing about the crime is known, however. According to an eyewitness who managed to escape the camp unharmed, the suspect appears to be a big hockey fan.
CNN\'s Nancy Grace has already named the person she says is the lead suspect in the case, a troubled young man named \"J. Vorhees.\" However, the former prosecutor ended up with egg on her face when local records revealed that her so-called murderer had drown in that very camp a decade earlier. Still, Grace would not give up on her theory and continued to press for answers during a heated interview with the boy\'s mother Pam Vorhees.
\"I think it\'s reprehensible the way you people are treating my son like a killer before any of the facts are in,\" said Vorhees. \"How can you sleep at night?\"
\"Where were you when the first body was found, Mrs. Vorhees?\" asked Grace, her trademark eyebrow cocked at a dangerous angle. \"Why won\'t you answer my question? Huh? Huh? Where were you? If you and your son have nothing to hide, why won\'t you answer such a simple question? Huh? Huh?\"
\"I\'m not sure you\'ll let me,\" replied Vorhees just as a muffled sound in the background distracted her attention.
\"What was that noise, Mrs. Vorhees? A scream? What do you have behind your back? Why is there red liquid running down your left hand? Huh? Huh?\"
Disgusted with the tone of the questioning, Vorhees cut the interview short explaining the she had \"work\" to do.
Even more importantly, considering the current trend of violence against young people in this country, nervous parents want to know how such a thing could happen in the first place and how could it be prevented in the future. For instance, how was the suspect able to enter the campgrounds unnoticed? Local politicians are demanding to know why metal detectors were not installed at all the camp\'s gates and why no bag searches took place.
Legislators are working on new laws that would beef up security for the region\'s wooded areas, and Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle has proposed an immediate ban on the sale of hockey masks throughout the entire state, but sadly even this may not be enough to save the few who remain alive inside Camp Crystal Lake.
\"Actually, I wouldn\'t worry about those people,\" said Dorf in a press conference just hours ago. \"I\'ve seen the script and from what I could tell they\'re all pretty much doomed.\"
