Mitch Hedberg R.i.p.

[🪦 DiedLaughing ●]

<span style=\'font-size:14pt;line-height:100%\'>"I was going to get my teeth whitened, but I said screw that, I\'ll just get a tan instead."</span>

[🪦 puckface ●]

Are you serious? I had no idea he is dead. Mitch Hedberg is my favorite comic of all time.

[🪦 DiedLaughing ●]

Are you serious? I had no idea he is dead. Mitch Hedberg is my favorite comic of all time.

[post=\"78014\"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post]

One of the funniest comedians I have heard in years...

[url=\"http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/news/bal-artslife-news-hedberg31,1,6888591.story?coll=bal-entertainment-headlines&ctrack=1&cset=true\"]Comedian Mitch Hedberg Dies At 37[/url]

[🪦 puckface ●]

This may seem inapropriate, and can be deleted, but..

Last week I helped my friend stay put. It\'s a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load his shit into a truck.

I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut...I don\'t need a receipt for the doughnut - I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don\'t need to bring ink and paper into this. I can\'t imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don\'t even act like I didn\'t buy a doughnut, I\'ve got the documentation right here... It\'s in my file at home. ...Under "D"

I\'m against picketing, but I don\'t know how to show it.

I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a photo opportunity of a fish that I have never seen.

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that\'s the problem. It\'s not the photographer\'s fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that\'s extra scary to me, because there\'s a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He\'s fuzzy. Get outta here.

I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. They don\'t call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, and now I have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips...

I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That\'s way more satisfying... You\'re supposed to yell \'fore\' but I kept thinking there ain\'t no way that\'s gonna hit him.

My lucky number is four billion. That doesn\'t come in real handy when you\'re gambling. "Come on, four billion! Fuck. Seven. Not even close. I need more dice."

I don\'t own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone needs to get ahold of me they just say, "Mitch," and I say, "what" and turn my head slightly...

I hope the next time I move I get a real easy phone number. Something like, 222-2222. I would say sweet. People would say, "Mitch, how do I get ahold of you?" I would say, "Press 2 for a while, and when I answer, you will know that you have pressed 2 enough"

I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said Please Try Again because they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have opened the yogurt wrong... or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me, \'c\'mon, Mitchell, don\'t give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top.

An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

My friend said to me, "You know what I like? Mashed potatoes." I was like, "Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you\'re going to quiz me you have to insert a pause."

Alcoholism is a disease, but it\'s the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddammit Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddammit Otto, you have Lupus... one of those two doesn\'t sound right.

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You\'re gonna have to move, you\'re blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn\'t gonna run. If you\'re flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.

I like rice. Rice is great if you\'re hungry and want 2000 of something.

I like refried beans. I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they\'re just as good and we\'re just wasting time.

-Mitch Hedberg

[🪦 Cthulhu ●]

how did he die?

oh and dont forget...

"I get tested for aids all the time, i call up my friend mike and i say "hey mike do you know anyone with AID\'s?" and he says "no" so i say "good cuz you know me" that guy was funny as hell what other things did he say oh i remember "if people are made of 98% water and someone says its crazy to jump into crowds at concerts its really not cuz your 2% away from jumping into a pool" he was funny sucks he died.

[🪦 gmyers ●]

This really stinks guys R.I.P.
Sad to hear that he died, what was the cause?

[🪦 Krazy Ken ●]

that defintely sucks he was one of my fav comedians RIP

[VF31]

he deffinatly made me laugh my ass off, shame this happened

[🪦 goaliehack ●]

How old was he? Last comedy central special he had he looked mid to late 30\'s? How weird.

[🪦 Mutilated ●]

He\'s 37.


This fucking sucks, that dude was my idol. Me and my friend josh owe our whole friendship to that man. RIP Mitch, you\'ll always be remembered.