Official Noes Remake Review Thread!

[🪦 DarklyScanner ●]

This film was boring for a simple reason. Well, besides Robert Englund not playing Freddy. That's just stupid in its own way. But the remake's problem was too chicken Sheep to go into Freddy's backstory. Freddy by far has the most interesting backstory of any of the horror icons he's apart of. If they considered only part 1 and 3 canon, it could have been perfect. But the problem is that this remake was too afraid to go all the way. If they really wanted to make Freddy scary, they should have shown what the old films never could. Don't just show us one flashback scene and a short montage. It didn't do enough to make anyone afraid of Freddy. And the whole idea that everyone of those kids had amnesia was mind boggling dumb. It's already enough that they're asking you to believe Freddy exists and is real... but they're asking us to believe all these kids don't remember anything at all on top of it? Not even one of them?! It was dumb. It could have worked with maybe two of them, but not all of them. That was way too convenient. The emo kid should have been the one who remembered but nobody ever believed. It would have at least made him more interesting. Have him be a kid who moved away and is back and stirs up all the memories of Freddy and that's what's bringing him back through their nightmares. But I guess that would have been too much to handle. Slash and dice, slash and dice. I consider this one closer to Nightmare on Elm Street 2 than the first or any of the rest. At least 4, 5, and 6 knew they were trying to be funny about it. Making fun of those movies for making Freddy a jokester is redundant. This one was just boring. At least Part 2 was funny because it was so gay. This one is a nice glass of warm milk without even a Chips Ahoy.