Need Some Critisim

[🪦 gmyers ●]

Ok guys here it goes. I\'ve been writing scripts now for many years. I just got a call on my cell phone (independant company) called me and asked me to write a script for a movie they want. They said they saw some of my work from people I would love me to be a part of it. I forget the company name, but I called them back saying I would gladly do it. I mean the pay isn\'t great, but I love to write scripts along with doing my mask right now. Tell me how this sounds (they gave me some guidelines of what they want in the movie and here is what I got from brain storming) Please feel free to do critisism (sp) lol. I will not be offended by a any means!
Here is the plot....1994, It\'s (haven\'t decided name yet) birthday party. A clown is entertaining them while the (his OR her) dad is going in to get some presents and the birthday cake. His or her mom wonders why the father is taking so long. To make a long story short, you see the reflection of the killer through a glass window. When she gets in her husband is in flames and his guts falling out. She turns around only to see an axe hit her right in the eye.....credits roll. Now it\'s 2005......11 years later. The girl or boy is 18 years old. He starts to go on a path of why and how his parents were murdered. He discovers his parents horrific past as long with battling the "neighborhood" killer. One by one, his friends become missing..........he\'s the only one left. Who is this killer....you\'ll just have to find out!
I know it sounds cheesy, but they love the idea. This is the worst description I\'ve ever done lol. I don\'t feel like writing the eerie moments in there......I have about 10 pages done is scripting. The mask of the killer is secret! The concept drawling will be revealed in a couple of weeks!

[🪦 WilliamAbuJannah ●]

how about a Detective with a split personality hunting a killer, but the killer is really the Detective, and when he finally realizes all the clues point to him his split personlity comes out and kills him, himself. Yeah, he\'d be his own last victim.

that\'d be hot!! :lol: LOTS OF GORE!!!


I don\'t know man, it\'s pretty hard for me to see what you\'re describing. I got that a kids parents were killed at his birthday party and years later he tries to figure out why. But,....why? There\'s gotta be a twist right? like it was his twin brother or something? Or the kid has a split personality and he killed his own parents?

Don\'t know, I\'m babbling,.....blah, blah, blah,

I love the idea of split personalities though, the idea that you could be your own worst nightmare is really cool to me. Trapped inside yourself watching yourself do horrible things, but then when you \'switch\' again, you\'d think it was all a dream and repress it.

[🪦 gmyers ●]

haha yes there is a HUGE twist. It\'s not a twin brother lol. But I will go more in depth into this after my shower!

[🪦 WilliamAbuJannah ●]

whoa whoa whoa, too much information.

I don\'t wanna hear \'bout yer bathing habits,.................wierdo, Lol.

[🪦 SPAZ ●]

I know sicko

[🪦 noxious_infestation ●]

whoa whoa whoa, too much information.

I don\'t wanna hear \'bout yer bathing habits,.................wierdo, Lol.

:lol:

[🪦 gmyers ●]

:lol: I had the worst shower of my life lol! There was no hot water left! :angry:
O well.......yeah a lil to much info!

[Eddie]

I read somewhere that people actually tend to think clearer in the bathroom. Weird.

Eddie

[🪦 WilliamAbuJannah ●]

I think you\'re right, my imagination works much better in there.

[🪦 DAKAZA ●]

how about a Detective with a split personality hunting a killer, but the killer is really the Detective, and when he finally realizes all the clues point to him his split personlity comes out and kills him, himself. Yeah, he\'d be his own last victim.

that\'d be hot!!  :lol: LOTS OF GORE!!!

That\'s actually pretty damn creative Bill. Maybe you should try and write a script along those lines.