12-24-2008, 01:57 AM
thanks for all the kind words i am in total grief all she wanted was to get time with me to kiss hold talk cuddle make out make love but i was to selfish to see that until she told me that she wanted to leave for her freedom but there was an undelying factor another guy whom she has been with intimately while still sleeping in my bed she wouldnt have to have done that if i would have paid her attention and given what a woman needed she lies to my face told me she no longer is in love with me and i cannot accept that i have allowed this to happen she did so much for me and the kids and i did nothing i could have done more to satisfy her needs as a man should what have i done i am in totla darkness and have not been myself at all lately i have become this mass of depression i am no good to anyone not even my kids my job my freinds anything or anyone feel like a worthless piece of shit and i cannot let go of the past it haunts me daily haunts my sleep i have lost over 40 pounds sleep like never while she goes on her merry way spending nights out taking time off work shutting off her phone she is diffrent town there no more goodnight i love you kisses i did this i let this happen i had the love of my life and i fucked it up now she is diffrent even goes as far as to cuss at my kids which she once loved.....i am in hell and have no way out what shold i do with this even tough she has become this i still want her to love me and be with me..............why did i let this happen